Thursday, April 26, 2007

Because I Don't Have Time to Write Anything!

If you watch one youtube video today, for the love of mike, let it be this! I don't know which is funnier, the singing, the dancing, the blatant copyright infringement or the fact that I can sing along! Well... sort of.

Come on everybody: "Mutton goes yay!"

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I'm Worth $51!

Yesterday, as I was mooching around in the afternoon bitching in a rather unladylike fashion about the heat, M gave me an MP4 player (which can play videos in addition to songs, hello!)! Turns out she bought it in secret while I wasn’t looking and made me a present of it which completely made my day!

I got so excited I loaded it to the hilt in half an hour and am now fliching Billy Joel and Aerosmith and Jack Johnson songs off her, like the good little pirate that I am. Never again will I look longingly at the girl on the train who is humming imperviously to the tune in her head while I have to put up with two tai-tais discussing the sex lives in their neighbourhoods.

Hear the traffic honking in the streets? Hmm, what’s that? I can’t! I’m plugged in to my new MP4 player! Ahoy, me hearties!

In other news, here’s a very interesting and enlightening (and mildly strange) exercise that Bex has talked Phizz and I into doing and so here’s how much I’m worth (without all me clothes and jewellry on, of course!). And since we’re all slacking off doing work and hanging out here reading, let’s all get into the spirit of things! I tag everybody! Go forth and stultify!

As you look over the following list, you'll notice a price tag on it. If you have done something on the list, you take down the price and ADD it all up.Then post the amount as the title. So here goes:

Had sex: $6.00
Smoked: $5.00
Got Drunk: $5.00
Went skinny dipping: $3.00
Kissed someone of the opposite sex: $4.00
Kissed someone of the same sex: $4.00
Cheated: $2.00
Fell asleep in class: $0.50
Been expelled: $5.00
Been in a fist fight: $3.00
Given oral: $5.00
Got oral: $5.00
Prank called the cops: $3.00
Lied to your parents: $1.00
Stole something: $2.00
Done drugs: $5.00
Dyed your hair: $0.50
Lied about your age: $3.00
Done something with someone OVER 18(like a few years): $3.00
Went out with someone OVER 18 (if you are under 18): $4.00
Ate a whole thing of Oreos: $0.50
Cried yourself to sleep: $1.00
Said you love someone but didn't mean it: $1.00
Been in love: $4.00
Got caught doing something you shouldn't have been doing: $1.00
Went streaking: $4.00
Got arrested: $5.00
Madeout with someone at the movies: $2.00
Peed in the pool: $0.50
Played Spin the Bottle: $1.00
Done something you regret: $3.00

I initially thought I was worth $50.50 which is kind of a sad amount to be associated with, but then I remembered the time I put a noxious red streak in my hair from a leftover bottle of bleach-cum-dye used by S… hooray for Gatsby!

Now that you’ve read this fiendish sounding list, maybe you can all answer some questions I’ve got out of curiosity… Like why is it that doing “bad” things mean you’re worth more?

Also, what exactly constitutes a whole “thing” of Oreos? And why aren’t any of the items things like “fallen down the stairs” or “fell into a pond of koi” or “hung off the edge of a parapet by one hand and was too heavy to pull self upwards resulting into a backward plunge into a bunch of prickly bushes and a concrete ledge causing knee to split open”? Because on those terms, I assure you, I’m worth my weight in gold.