Tuesday, September 25, 2007

What Bex Wants, Bex Gets


List out your top 5 birthday presents that you wish for: (mine are in no particular order!)

1) A really super cute leather carry-all
2) A kiss from Paul McCartney/ Johnny Depp/ Dominic Cooper/ Rufus Wainwright –I mean, whoever. I’m not fussy, you know.
3) To have a reunion with all my closest friends
4) The freedom to do whatever I want
5) Happiness for M

Answer the following questions:

1. Who tagged you?

2. Your relationship with him/her?
I’m her kick-ass sidekick and partner-in-crime! We’re also in a very committed relation-friend-ship that’s long distance right now. I have no doubt that we will one day be reunited, though!

3. Your 5 impressions of him/her?
Beck is really smart, she’s adventurous, fun-loving, responsible and always stands up for what she believes in without being offensive about it.

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
Being honest with me one night in my room a long time ago and telling me the true story behind the “Roofwalkers” script.

5.The most memorable words he/she had said to you?
“Don’t take it personally” when we were talking about our various parental problems. It really helped me get some perspective on whether or not I was in fault in my relationship with my parents. OH! And also, “Should we clean it up? *gives me uncertain look* We should clean it up right?”

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
Hmmm… try out that thing that we saw on that website *nudge nudge wink wink*.

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?
I don’t know… be a bit less OCD?

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
Send her devious anonymous emails that are so freakishly long and convoluted that she has to spend each day deciphering them and seeing spots long afterwards! And try to talk Phizz into doing the same!

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
She decided to dismantle the Ponky De la Rue and Pepper DeLauney association!

10. The thing you desire most to do for him/her now is?
Take away her stress and provide her with a place where she can go to be calm and relaxed.

11. Your overall impression of him/her is?
For some reason, maybe because Beck has always been older and more mature than me, I always believe that she’s a perfect person… a real rock who I turn to whenever I’m in need of advice and someone to talk to because to me she’s so steady and calm and unflappable!

12. How do you think people around you feel about you?
Eh? Alamak… all these questions about Becky and then suddenly one question about me? Sneaky, eh? I think mainly I talk too much! So people either get freaked out or develop sudden, raging headaches.

13. The characteristic you most love about yourself?
I can laugh in almost any bad situation and maintain some kind of humour.

14. On the contrary, the characteristic you hate about yourself the most is?
I procrastinate on an almost inhuman level. And I'm really selfish.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Less emotional and way more driven! And nicer. Always nicer.

16. Pass this quiz on to 5 people:
Anyone and everyone who wants to do it, especially if they haven’t done it yet!


The Dumb Test - For every "yes" give yourself a point!
[x] Has gum fallen out of your mouth when you were talking?
[x] Has gum fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking?
[ ] Have you have run into a glass/screen door?
[ ] Have you jumped/fallen out of a moving vehicle?
[x] Did you think of something funny and laughed, and then had people give you weird looks?

[x] Have you run into a tree/bush?
[ ] Do you think it is possible to lick your elbow?
[ ] Did you just try to lick your elbow?
[ ] You did not know that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm? [ ] Did you just sing them?

[x] Have you tripped on your own shoelace and fallen?
[x] Have you have choked on your own spit?
[ ] Have you seen the Matrix and still don't get it?
[ ] Have you never seen the Matrix?
[ ] Do you type only with two fingers?

[x] Have you accidentally caught something on fire?
[ ] Have you tried to drink out of a straw, but it came out of your nose or eyes?
[x ] Have you caught yourself drooling?
[x] Have you fallen asleep in class?
[ ] If someone says "fart", "penis" or "vagina" you laugh?

[ ] Have you ever just stopped thinking?
[x] Have you told a story and forgot what you were talking about?
[ ] Do people often shake their heads and walk away from you?
[ ] Are you often told to use your "inside voice"?
[ ] Do you use your fingers to do simple math?

[x] Have you have eaten a bug?
[ ] Are you taking this test when you should be doing something more important? E.g. assignments
[x] Have you put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realise it?
[x] Have you looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or on your head?
[ ] Do you break a lot of things?

[ ] Do your friends know not to use big words around you?
[x] Do you tilt your head when you're confused?
[x] Have you fallen out off your chair before?
[x]When you're laying in bed, do you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling?
[x] Do you use the word "umm" many times a day?

Total = 17

The Verdict:
- 18 And Above = Stoopid
- 18 And Below = Not Stoopid

Final result: Whoa. I need to sit down! I’m not STOOPID??? For real? You have no idea how close to impending disaster we were there… actually, maybe I counted something wrongly. And if I did, I’m not about to go back and check!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Office Wear Extraordinaire

You know when you’ve got a whole afternoon of shopping ahead and a whole bunch of high expectations and you’re in a dressing room trying on this incredibly cute purple silk top with a gentle sheen, little round buttons and darts in the sides and for a moment as you pull it over your head it looks like it could almost, just about fit you absolutely perfectly and then you’ve finally got it on fully and you turn to face yourself in the mirror and you see a giant, bulging, violet-coloured sausage staring back at you?

Today was one of those days.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

This Rat Has New Running Shoes

So much for enjoying my peace, quiet and freedom. I managed to get myself a job!

I’m actually really excited and happy that I finally managed to finagle my way into doing something and what’s more, it’s a job I really wanted. I’ll be doing some writing for a local publication, and even though I know it’s going to be really busy from here on out, I’m mentally preparing myself for what I’m going to do.

Funnily enough, this was the one job I was convinced I wouldn’t get.

See, I read said publication before I headed down for the interview, and I had prepared bold statements about several contributors to the publication, one in particular – let’s call him X. So I was all prepared to wax lyrical about X’s writing and all the interesting things he did or did not say when I stepped into the discussion room to find X standing right in front of me.

I was so freaked out to meet him (because I couldn’t very well dissect his neurological functioning to his face) that everything just went straight out of my head and I didn’t have any idea what I was saying half the time. Though X asked a few tricky questions, he was actually really nice most of the time despite the fact that a smile seemed to lurk around the corners of his mouth when he was asking me questions that I fumbled to answer. When the interview ended, I just drifted out of the office feeling completely lost. I was so crushed that I called M up, close to tears, and was telling myself all sorts of conciliatory things like “You’ll look back at this in ten years and laugh” although I didn’t really think I would.

I had pretty much given up this job for dead and was actually applying for a relief teaching position –in my old secondary school of all places! –when I received the call that meant I was no longer one of the unwashed, ignoble masses (I know not all the unemployed are unwashed, I have the personal pleasure to be acquainted with some jobless people who smell very nice indeed).

I didn’t want to say too much about it to too many people until I signed the thing, but yesterday, I went down to my future place of work and gave them my John Hopkins, so now I can tell you! I’m employed!

And even if I’m really pleased about what I’m going to be doing, there’s no ignoring the fact that like Hoonye, M and many others before me, I’ve pretty much given up lazing around on the couch in the afternoon and taking naps at all odd hours of the day. There go the times when I would skip around after school and climb into bed in my underwear, thanking my lucky stars that I wasn’t chained to a desk at four in the afternoon.

Alas! Once, I lolled around in a café with a book and a steaming mug of chocolate and laughed inwardly at the faceless suits as they trudged by. Now, I’m going to be one of them!**

Enh, well, we've all got to start sometime.

** Not that I’ll actually wear a suit, I’m more of a throw on a random shirt and pants kind of a girl but my mother is insisting that I spiff up my wardrobe and haircut and all sorts of really hellish, makeup-and-grooming-related things I can’t bring myself to mention.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

For S, For Always

When I heard this, I had to close my eyes for the emotion that it invoked. I hate to merely repeat the plain words of other scribes, but they’ve stolen my thoughts of you and pinned them on a stave. No matter how bad the day or where you may be, this feeling will always be as simple and eternal.

This one’s for you and for the many things I will never learn to perfectly say.

All my little plans and schemes,
Lost like some forgotten dreams,
Seems that all I really was doing,
Was waiting for you.

Just like little girls and boys,
Playing with their little toys,
Seems like all we really were doing
Was waiting for love.

Don’t need to be alone,
No need to be alone,
It’s real love, it’s real,
Yes it’s real love,
It’s real.

From this moment on I know
Exactly where my life will go,
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for love.

Don’t need to be afraid,
No need to be afraid,
It’s real love, it’s real,
Yes it’s real love,
It’s real

Thought I’d been in love before
But in my heart I wanted more,
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you.

Don’t need to be alone,
Don’t need to be alone.
It’s real love,
It’s real,
Yes it’s real love,
It’s real.

Gainfully Unemployed

As much as I feel a little embarrassed that I’m not contributing in a productive way to the country’s economy, I can’t really bring myself to feel completely guilty for being out of work. In truth, I’m enjoying it a whole lot. It means I can spend nice little dinners out with M at night and go to her workplace to see her for lunch, her schedule permitting. It also means that I’m getting a little lazy about keeping in touch with people, so if I haven’t been writing to you/ answering your messages, I’m really really sorry! Hoon Ye gave me a huge lecture about it today, and I assure you, no message with go unanswered from this point hence.

Well, most messages anyway.

Being without work also means that I can organise random events at a moment’s notice. On Saturday, the Soci gang came over to my house for a potluck dinner and it was an evening filled with moments of immense fun. We licked virtually every plate clean and then moved on to dessert like a group of thirsty camels. Johan and my brother really hit it off, watching soccer matches on cable while the rest of us piled into the sofa bed I set up in the living room and proceeded to play charades.

Charades with this group of people is like charades with no one else I’ve ever known. The words thrown out are insanely inhuman and the resulting actions are fittingly mad. We were left in stitches trying to decide whether Johan’s rendition of Weedy Seadragon made us laugh as hard as Jonathan’s impression of a museum curator – it was like watching the two men in Blades of Glory. For the record - Jono tried to act as the curator and the exhibit at the same time, resulting in a great deal of confusion and in someone making guesses such as “constipated nude model” when he attempted to portray a T-Rex skeleton.

We basically wallowed around in the living room until after three when I dug up old junior college photos and Shah and I squealed like kids over our old friends and uniforms. I think they had a good time and I had a fantastic evening! It was nice to round up the last few months of living in my house with a gathering of close friends and good food.

At the same time, my workless civilian status allowed me to pick Marie up from the airport today when she came over to Singapore from Paris. I was SO excited when I found out Marie would be coming to stay for eight months – we parted over two years ago when I ended my exchange programme in the United States. We had always been happy to know she was coming, but her actual presence at dinner today was unbelievably surreal – as Glenn said, it felt like we were going to rush back to our hostels for dinner at any minute.

I didn’t spot her at the airport right away because she was among the last few passengers to alight the plane and I grew increasingly frantic while searching among the milling people until I saw her familiar smile. I hadn’t realised how much I missed her until I hugged her when she came trotting out of the “Nothing to Declare” aisle.

We took her out for dinner and coffee, during which Hoon Ye delivered her crushing lecture on how I would be left out of future activities if I didn’t pick up my phone. It was great to catch up with the girls and Glenn, and I admit there was even a little gossip floating around the table. At the end of the day, it’s just great to know that Marie’s only a few bus stops away for once, instead of a few continents, and I forsee an exciting eight months ahead.

So you see, I have been contributing somewhat to society. I fed and accomodated eight people for one night and I’m helping a helpless foreigner find her way around our blessed country. I know I shouldn’t get too comfortable doing it, I really need to be out there, slaving over something and bringing home the bacon (or little strips of crackling in my case).

But right at this moment, I can’t help allowing myself to enjoy this freedom just a little bit more than I should. As it is, I already have a blissfully relaxing day planned out for tomorrow.

And I can tell what that means – I need a little more Hoon Ye on my ass.

Get on that asap, Miss Kiat!