Heads Up!
In the midst of backpacking through Vietnam (hot as hell, by the way), it strikes me as prudent to let someone know, just in case, that I'm still alive. So, you there! The one (and possibly only) person reading this, I'm still around, albeit much diminished by mosquitos and terrible English.
I survived three nights in Hanoi, wandering around random little shops and cafes and looking over Chu Tich Ho Chih Minh's frightfully white and waxy dead body, which thankfully, didn't look back. Though they've done a hell of a job preserving him, I wonder if maybe it wasn't the wisest thing to do considering that he wanted to be cremated and scattered in the sea. I lived through two nights at Halong Bay, jumping off two-storey high ferries into the sea and kayaking for miles just to reach a secluded little beach encrusted with shells and corals, while walking past shops that pickled enormous geckos, pheasants and snakes in vodka to make Vietnamese viagra. I even made it (just barely) through a heinous twelve hour bus trip during which some European clowns decided that lying on the floor of the aisle would be the best way to get some sleep as well as to block the exit for the rest of us.
Yes, I'm still alive, just in case you were curious to know. And as much as it would give people joy to take some money out on the insurance policy that was prudently prepared for me, let me assure you that the moment has not yet come. So if you were starting to anxiously buy champagne and chocolate and ready a little wooden raft, hold on to your knickers please. I still have two weeks left to go tramping through Cambodia and Thailand, beginning with this afternoon when I will board aforementioned bus and go on a sixteen-hour pilgrimmage in the general direction of Saigon. If after those two weeks you still don't see me tanned, wormy and hopefully a little thinner, then by all means, whip the raft out.
Till then however, the most-harrowing-moment-in-my-life-at-present-not-involving-near-death-experience, was that precise moment when caught by an inevitable, pressing need, I actually dropped my pants along a random wall in the dead of the night, next to several other bare-bottoms belonging to my bus companions and relieved myself under the curious eyes of local women, lizards and possibly men alike.
Truly, I have transcended all boundaries of common human decency and achieved savage-like status. I should be so proud.
I survived three nights in Hanoi, wandering around random little shops and cafes and looking over Chu Tich Ho Chih Minh's frightfully white and waxy dead body, which thankfully, didn't look back. Though they've done a hell of a job preserving him, I wonder if maybe it wasn't the wisest thing to do considering that he wanted to be cremated and scattered in the sea. I lived through two nights at Halong Bay, jumping off two-storey high ferries into the sea and kayaking for miles just to reach a secluded little beach encrusted with shells and corals, while walking past shops that pickled enormous geckos, pheasants and snakes in vodka to make Vietnamese viagra. I even made it (just barely) through a heinous twelve hour bus trip during which some European clowns decided that lying on the floor of the aisle would be the best way to get some sleep as well as to block the exit for the rest of us.
Yes, I'm still alive, just in case you were curious to know. And as much as it would give people joy to take some money out on the insurance policy that was prudently prepared for me, let me assure you that the moment has not yet come. So if you were starting to anxiously buy champagne and chocolate and ready a little wooden raft, hold on to your knickers please. I still have two weeks left to go tramping through Cambodia and Thailand, beginning with this afternoon when I will board aforementioned bus and go on a sixteen-hour pilgrimmage in the general direction of Saigon. If after those two weeks you still don't see me tanned, wormy and hopefully a little thinner, then by all means, whip the raft out.
Till then however, the most-harrowing-moment-in-my-life-at-present-not-involving-near-death-experience, was that precise moment when caught by an inevitable, pressing need, I actually dropped my pants along a random wall in the dead of the night, next to several other bare-bottoms belonging to my bus companions and relieved myself under the curious eyes of local women, lizards and possibly men alike.
Truly, I have transcended all boundaries of common human decency and achieved savage-like status. I should be so proud.
She said, she said at 1:17 pm
2 Comments:
Hurray on your accomplishments!
You've officially passed the test on "How-To-Go-Back-To-Your-Roots-And-Behave-Like -Cavewomen"
Ahahahaha!
That must have been one urgent call of nature eh?
Oh belive me, I am the queen of the urgent call of nature! I'll be wandering around like lalala and then SUDDENLY the need will strike :P Now you should join the club too!
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