As If I Could Get Any Stranger!
Because this blog is, ya know, self-centered and all about me, I thought I would collect a series of RANDOM WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME ™ just so that I can collate, in the most scientific way possible, how quirky (to use a euphemism, folks) I can be. For my own personal reference, mind.
It’s not like I’m weird or anything, okay *eyes wander suspiciously and face twitches*. So. In the spirit of, you know, “idiosyncraticnesses” (and yes, I reserve the right to make up words too, you flodderblurps!) May I present: RANDOM WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME ™ numbers 1 and 2!!
RANDOM WEIRD THING #1
Those automated taps that the government has taken to installing in public toilets really frighten the piss out of me. I suppose in a toilet, this is not a bad thing, so long as you are close to a cubicle. But still. I know that we’re supposed to be a modern and fully-automated society where you just wave your hands (or, a PAP sign) and presto chango, things just happen, but this is just taking it a bit too far.
It’s bad enough that we have toilets that flush when they sense movement, more often than not when we’re still too close for comfort! (May I point out that the toilet sensing movement usually means there is a person in front of it and hello, because toilets are made for peeing, said person is sometimes still carrying out said action…)
Now we have freaky taps that I wave my hands in front of, and absolutely nothing happens. And then, just as I am standing there, all dirty, wondering what to do next, the water SUDDENLY comes spurting out, giving me the shock of my life.
And it’s always fecking cold.
RANDOM WEIRD THING #2
I am just a great, big klutz (stop laughing, M). I not only trip/ fall/ get stuck/ get lost/ walk into the men’s toilet* at any possible occasion, I also knock things off supermarket shelves, for real.
You know, that’s the kind of thing that’s only supposed to happen in comedies, but it’s true. When I was at Giant with my friend Priya, who shall remain nameless, I was carrying a big, yellow, ugly-ass backpack (I’m not sure if it’s the backpack or the story I’m about to relate that’s weirder), we were looking around the shelves and I swung around, and my backpack actually knocked several boxes of something off the shelf.
And then I turned to look at what I had knocked down and my backpack knocked things off the opposite shelf, just like in a freaking Charlie Chaplin movie. And then because people were turning to stare, and I couldn't stop laughing, the poor friend had to drag me out of there like billy-o. It sounds unbelievable, I know, but if you were there…
What can I say? The damn aisles are just too narrow.
Well, then! Now that I’ve got that off my chest!
I guess it’s back to work now. As if washing the balcony, mopping the kitchen floor on all fours, bathing the dog and ironing the clothes weren’t enough.
No rest for the wicked!
*delete where necessary. Or in my case, don’t delete at all. Pffft.
It’s not like I’m weird or anything, okay *eyes wander suspiciously and face twitches*. So. In the spirit of, you know, “idiosyncraticnesses” (and yes, I reserve the right to make up words too, you flodderblurps!) May I present: RANDOM WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME ™ numbers 1 and 2!!
RANDOM WEIRD THING #1
Those automated taps that the government has taken to installing in public toilets really frighten the piss out of me. I suppose in a toilet, this is not a bad thing, so long as you are close to a cubicle. But still. I know that we’re supposed to be a modern and fully-automated society where you just wave your hands (or, a PAP sign) and presto chango, things just happen, but this is just taking it a bit too far.
It’s bad enough that we have toilets that flush when they sense movement, more often than not when we’re still too close for comfort! (May I point out that the toilet sensing movement usually means there is a person in front of it and hello, because toilets are made for peeing, said person is sometimes still carrying out said action…)
Now we have freaky taps that I wave my hands in front of, and absolutely nothing happens. And then, just as I am standing there, all dirty, wondering what to do next, the water SUDDENLY comes spurting out, giving me the shock of my life.
And it’s always fecking cold.
RANDOM WEIRD THING #2
I am just a great, big klutz (stop laughing, M). I not only trip/ fall/ get stuck/ get lost/ walk into the men’s toilet* at any possible occasion, I also knock things off supermarket shelves, for real.
You know, that’s the kind of thing that’s only supposed to happen in comedies, but it’s true. When I was at Giant with my friend Priya, who shall remain nameless, I was carrying a big, yellow, ugly-ass backpack (I’m not sure if it’s the backpack or the story I’m about to relate that’s weirder), we were looking around the shelves and I swung around, and my backpack actually knocked several boxes of something off the shelf.
And then I turned to look at what I had knocked down and my backpack knocked things off the opposite shelf, just like in a freaking Charlie Chaplin movie. And then because people were turning to stare, and I couldn't stop laughing, the poor friend had to drag me out of there like billy-o. It sounds unbelievable, I know, but if you were there…
What can I say? The damn aisles are just too narrow.
Well, then! Now that I’ve got that off my chest!
I guess it’s back to work now. As if washing the balcony, mopping the kitchen floor on all fours, bathing the dog and ironing the clothes weren’t enough.
No rest for the wicked!
*delete where necessary. Or in my case, don’t delete at all. Pffft.
She said, she said at 12:20 am
2 Comments:
*ROTFL*
Oh yes i totally remember the men's toilet one! Was it in the library? Hmmm...
Hey hey! Your job is not to delve into the dirty details of my klutziness okay!
You must say "But pootli! I still love you anyway!" while batting your eyelashes :P
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