Can You Keep A Secret?

I confess…

… that I try my best to put in longer hours at work because I don’t want to, can’t bear to go home.

… that I am still dweeby and awkward and flustered around people.

… that I feel guilty if I give one stuffed toy more hugs than the other.

... that sometimes I just want to lie in the dark in a foetal position and never have to get out and face the world again.

… that now and then, I wish I was anorexic because then my parents would be concerned about things that actually mattered, like health.

… that you thrill me and scare me all at once because I cannot imagine my life without you anymore but that if I told you in all truth how I felt, you might laugh at me and so I hide it in casual, lively emails and hope that somehow, you know how to read between the lines.

… that sometimes I go out of my way to avoid you because I care what you think.

… that sometimes the nightmares I have frighten me so much that I turn on the
table lamp and lie on the floor with my dog.

… that I talk so much to cover up the things I cannot say.

… that I’m scared.

… that I’m broken.
… that I’m yours.