Monday, August 14, 2006

So.

Here I am again, in a place that is almost the same, but not quite enough for deja-vu, in a room that was so filthy that it warranted a scrubbing thrice over, on my hands and knees. I had to pick dustballs off the bed and scrape a dead baby lizard off the floor, undoubtedly one of the finer ways to spend early Saturday afternoon.

But I’ve settled in now and things are looking pretty good. The floor is clean if not as spotless as I would like, the sheets smell nice and I am eating chocolate mint biscuits in front of my laptop. Even Angstrom seems to be comfortable, climbing around his cage and snacking on my cookie crumbs now and then.

Somehow, this seems like the year I’ve been holding my breath for. The finality of it all makes it weigh heavier still.

I’m scared all right.

Scared that I won’t be able to see it through, or that I’ll lose my momentum and get into playing games. What if I can’t salvage what I have left to do?

There is an irony in leaving the hardest and most challenging things till the last, when you’ve already had shots at not messing up and when the tedium begins to set in. Maybe this really is survival of the fittest. Only, I don’t just want to survive.

The semester sounds really really exciting, like everything that we’ve learnt up till now is just a prelude for understanding what is to come. I don’t want to let myself down.


The deluge begins tomorrow. I just really need to get my shit together and ride it this time, instead of wussing out, like I usually do. Well, onward ho, the end is in sight and you and I are in this together, S.

Final year? Bring it on.
Cheers, mate.

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