Just 'Cause
Lately I’ve been a little out of it. Actually, I’ve been sick. As sick as. Sick like I-can-barely-be-bothered-at-what’s-going-on-around-me-because-I’m-too-busy –bothering-about-this-glazed-eyed-freak-trip-my-head-is-on-sick. I spent a couple of days in bed, groaning around the house to anyone who would listen. I lost my voice and if you know me, you’ll know what a nightmare that is for me… My vocal range morphed into something that straddled Louis Armstrong and Mickey Mouse and I wheezed my way through the last two days.
Today, however, I had one of the most perfect days of my life. I didn’t do anything particularly exceptional or out of the way. I just was.
I woke up to my brother telling me he’d ordered hotcakes and hashbrowns for breakfast and we ate while watching an Agatha Christie movie. I drove him to school and then stopped by at M’s house and on a whim, we bought ingredients to make an authentic Italian tiramisu.
I’m fully aware of all the risks involved with making dessert, there was the time I followed a seemingly easy cake recipe by Jamie “Just bash it in the oven” Oliver and ended up with a chocolate waterbed that had a floury core not even the dog would eat. But today, we followed the recipe half the time, winged it the other half and ended up with something that was close to one-star Michelin fare. The Italian lady’s fingers that we managed to find soaked up the brandy and tasted like feathers tipped with creamy marscapone.
We ate and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and played the game and just lounged around on the couch until I had to drive home. It was a really great afternoon, and I drove back with the taste of tiramisu on my tongue and weaving in and out with other cars in a dance in the highway. The sun was glinting in on the dashboard and the car smelled faintly of M’s clean shirt, the way it usually does when we go for a ride.
I sang loudly all the way home.
So I’m here, talking about it, not because it was spectacular or anything. Really, it was just a simple day when everything seemed to go right, when I felt loved and safe and happy and I had nothing on my mind but how blue the sky looked and how much fun I’d had with M.
And it occurred to me that instead of bitching all the time and thinking about how unfair and hard life could be sometimes, I should just celebrate the normal everyday wonders that trickle pleasantly by and make a regular day with a wonderful person something spectacular.
Nothing comes from nothing.
But you don’t need a whole lot to make something good.
So here I am, just ‘cause.
Today, however, I had one of the most perfect days of my life. I didn’t do anything particularly exceptional or out of the way. I just was.
I woke up to my brother telling me he’d ordered hotcakes and hashbrowns for breakfast and we ate while watching an Agatha Christie movie. I drove him to school and then stopped by at M’s house and on a whim, we bought ingredients to make an authentic Italian tiramisu.
I’m fully aware of all the risks involved with making dessert, there was the time I followed a seemingly easy cake recipe by Jamie “Just bash it in the oven” Oliver and ended up with a chocolate waterbed that had a floury core not even the dog would eat. But today, we followed the recipe half the time, winged it the other half and ended up with something that was close to one-star Michelin fare. The Italian lady’s fingers that we managed to find soaked up the brandy and tasted like feathers tipped with creamy marscapone.
We ate and watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and played the game and just lounged around on the couch until I had to drive home. It was a really great afternoon, and I drove back with the taste of tiramisu on my tongue and weaving in and out with other cars in a dance in the highway. The sun was glinting in on the dashboard and the car smelled faintly of M’s clean shirt, the way it usually does when we go for a ride.
I sang loudly all the way home.
So I’m here, talking about it, not because it was spectacular or anything. Really, it was just a simple day when everything seemed to go right, when I felt loved and safe and happy and I had nothing on my mind but how blue the sky looked and how much fun I’d had with M.
And it occurred to me that instead of bitching all the time and thinking about how unfair and hard life could be sometimes, I should just celebrate the normal everyday wonders that trickle pleasantly by and make a regular day with a wonderful person something spectacular.
Nothing comes from nothing.
But you don’t need a whole lot to make something good.
So here I am, just ‘cause.
She said, she said at 9:14 pm
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