Office Wear Extraordinaire

You know when you’ve got a whole afternoon of shopping ahead and a whole bunch of high expectations and you’re in a dressing room trying on this incredibly cute purple silk top with a gentle sheen, little round buttons and darts in the sides and for a moment as you pull it over your head it looks like it could almost, just about fit you absolutely perfectly and then you’ve finally got it on fully and you turn to face yourself in the mirror and you see a giant, bulging, violet-coloured sausage staring back at you?

Today was one of those days.