Not So Motley

The Crue were awesome!!!! (Can I please rephrase that because there are obviously not enough exclamation points in the first sentence.) AWESOME!!!!!!!!

It was the concert with the most raw, animal energy I have ever seen in my life. Unlike Sabbath, where the band relaxedly played with the self-assuredness of age and experience behind them, the Crue were clearly out to impress.

As usual, my brother and the crew camped out in the line a couple hours before the show so that we would be squashed right up against the safety barrier in the front row. And thank god we were, because the crowd was brutal. I was trampled on, pushed and shoved, and covered in sweat that didn't belong to me. At some point, some asshole diagonal to me was pulling my hair from its tight ponytail and apparently a girl behind my brother kept putting her hand in his pocket. Can anyone say molest?

The moment the gauzy black curtain dropped, displaying the stage in all its misty glory, I went absolutely hoarse screaming. Tommy Lee was already pounding the crap out of a monstrous red and black drum set and Vince Neil was spinning on the middle of the stage. The whole band was larger than life, from the gnarly spring-loaded microphone stands that ticked about like the arm on a metronome to the bands' tattoed bodies, covered in ripped black and leather.

So because I don't have photos of the actual concert, I now present you ciplat pictures poached from various (un)reliable internet sources:

Vince Neil was an abso-bloody-lutely fantastic vocalist, which surprised me because you can't really tell just how hard he sings off albums. While his voice wasn't necessarily pleasant, it was filled with energy and was pitch perfect almost every single time. The thing that impressed me most was the way he would change the pitch of his screams to make them sound almost melodic, something I haven't actually seen done live. He danced and ran and jumped in a way that actually managed to be stylish and had everyone jumping on the spot in a frenzy.

Plus, he made lots of eye contact with the crowd and turned to grin and point at us when we shrieked "Vince! We love you!" like freakin' groupies at one point and his face is more cute and teddy-bearish than hard and craggy. When he sang Girls, Girls, Girls, he actually hung his diamante studded mike over the girl right next to me so she could belt the chorus into it, then turned to his left and did the same thing to Han. I almost died, I was so star struck.

The chemistry he had with Nikki Sixx was just awesome, the two would jokingly nudge and push each other while singing, he would mess up Nikki's hair and they would crowd together at the side of the stage and do playful dances together. And let me tell you, if you think he's hot in pictures, Sixx is absolutely smokin' in real life. He's not lean or muscled, but his face is so good-looking that with the black goatee and dark, shagged hair, the dude was sweating sex appeal from every pore.

Apparently, one of the nutty white chicks behind us was even overhead saying she wanted him to fuck her in the ass, or something equally palatable. Anyway, he was wearing pants with red flames licking up the sides, long strips of studded leather and some sort of sparkly scarf that reached down to the backs of his knees and he actually carried it off. He was a little peeved at the beginning of the show because his earpiece seemingly screwed up, but towards the end, when he came to the edge of the stage and started reaching for the fans and beckoning random girls, it was pure magic.

Incidentally, Sixx (almost 50, believe it or not) is now dating Kat Von D of Miami Ink fame. How cute are they together?! They practically have the same hair.

Mick Mars was standing on the other side of the stage, and understandably didn't move around a whole lot, so I didn't really get the chance to see what he was up to. He looked skinny and pale and small and his top hat was pulled low over his eyes so that I could barely see where he was looking. He wore shoes with a slight platform and when he did make his way over to our corner, he was thin and a little bent.

When he played however, it was absolutely seamless and without effort, the kind of playing that is so smooth and easy that you barely notice it. He made some small eye contact with the audience when the band came to the front for a final bow, and really, that's all I saw of him.

Tommy Lee played in nothing but a pair of checked shorts and a belt and the big booming sound of his giant bass drums and toms added to the drama of the whole affair. While I was trying to admire his playing, I also couldn't stop thinking of Pamela Anderson everytime I looked at him. Unlike other drummers who mostly stay behind their kits, he was miked up and actually climbed off the stage to swan around in front of us and dole out high fives while screaming "I love you, I love you!" to everyone. Pansley touched his sweaty arm and I don't think she's been the same since.

One very cute thing they all did was to turn and face Tommy at the end of a song so that he could raise a number of fingers to indicate how many beats he would wait till the big finish. Little bits of by-play like this make the experience that much more enjoyable.

We made friends with the security guy, Will, who had also been front row at Megadeth, Sabbath and Dream Theatre. Because the crowd was so crazy and everyone was getting shoved into pulp, girls would faint or feel woozy every 15 minutes and Will would have to climb the barrier to pull them out of the crowd, bringing me face to face with his crotch - not the most pleasant of situations.

Also, the British girl right next to me was so crazy about Nikki Sixx that everytime he approached the front of the stage (which he did a lot since he was on our side), she went into a sonic-pitch scream that would have woken Ho Chi Minh, leaving me with intense tinnitus in my left ear.

But seriously, whatever. I'm not a giant Motley Crue fan, but I had one of the most awesome evenings in a while, topped by a nice chilling out session at a nearby Macdonald's afterwards. The boys got their picks, Han managed to pilfer song lyrics from the stage and everyone else got posters for their room. It was insane and wonderful all at the same time.

Plus, while waiting for the guys to come on, we got wind that Iron Maiden might be down in February next year.

I'm there.